


Can't Forgive, Can't Forget

by orphan_account



Series: Bad Things Happen 1.0 [1]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Bad Things Happen Bingo, Body Horror, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Guilt, Hallucinations, M/M, Past Character Death, Queerplatonic Relationships, Sexual Humor, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:02:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26519464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Patton presses his hands firmly over his ears, knees tucked underneath his chin as he curls up on his bed. He sees the monster dangling from his ceiling lean closer from the corner of his eyes—gaping holes for eyes and beating heart exposed in its ribcage, red and green sashes wrapped delicately around rotten, torn flesh, the fabric hanging in tatters.He wishes he could say that he’s never seen it before. He also wishes that this would be the last time it torments him, but he doubts he’ll get that lucky.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Bad Things Happen 1.0 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1928308
Comments: 2
Kudos: 45
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Can't Forgive, Can't Forget

_It’s your fault._

Patton presses his hands firmly over his ears, knees tucked underneath his chin as he curls up on his bed. He sees the monster dangling from his ceiling lean closer from the corner of his eyes—gaping holes for eyes and beating heart exposed in its ribcage, red and green sashes wrapped delicately around rotten, torn flesh, the fabric hanging in tatters. It only resembles a human from the chest-up, melting into a black, formless mess into the ceiling above that spreads out in a web-like pattern.

He wishes he could say that he’s never seen it before. He also wishes that this would be the last time it torments him, but he doubts he’ll get that lucky.

It’s voice rattles around inside his head like chains, sharp and hair-splitting, clinking for now but promising to turn into screeching if Patton isn’t careful.

_It’s your fault. It’s your fault I died._

Fingers slip through his curls, soft, gentle. Yet, it still feels like fire searing into his skin.

_Why wasn’t I good enough? What did I do wrong?_

Silent tears prick the corners of his eyes, falling only when he squeezes them shut.

 _Do you think it’s fair that you get to live on? That you get to have a happy ending with them? With_ him _?_

A choked sob escapes him. The voice gets louder, booming in his head.

_He was a part of me. They both were. Do you think it’s right that you get your happy ending and I don’t? Do you think they’re happier like this? Do you think they’re happier with you?_

The monster sinks lower, leaning closer. Patton suppresses a wince, mindful enough to keep still under its unwavering, eyeless gaze.

 _I know they’re not. They can’t be. They were better whole—they_ wanted _to be whole!_ I _wanted to be_ alive _!_

The smell of rotten flesh hangs heavy in the air to the point he nearly vomits.

_What did I do, Morality? What did I do wrong? Why wasn’t I good enough for you but he is?_

“Pat?”

Patton flinches when a new voice joins in, instinctively curling in on himself. He does nothing more than whimper when he hears footsteps approach, loud and uncaring.

“Hey, cake-mix, relax. It’s just me.”

Hesitantly, Patton cracks an eye open, glancing up. Instead of sunken eye-sockets and peeling skin, Remus’ concerned features stare back at him, a frown twisting his usually-wild-carefree face. The chattering in his ears echoes on despite the monster’s departure, crying out like a skipping record: _your fault, your fault, your fault_.

He sniffs, rubbing tears from his eyes. “I…I’m s—”

“You don’t need to apologize,” Remus cuts in before he can finish, taking a seat next to him. He spreads out his arms, chuckling the moment Patton wraps his arms around him and buries his face in his chest, the other side returning the hug in a firm squeeze. “You seeing shit again?”

Patton bites his lip, pointedly looking at one of the tears in Remus’ shirt. “…Yes.”

“It the same one?”

 _Your fault,_ the voice chides.

Patton sighs, nodding into the other’s shirt. “Can we—can we not talk about it? I just want to cuddle.”

Remus grins at him, pulling him further into his lap, “So long as I get to bring out the tentacles, sure!”

Patton can’t help the giggle that escapes him, allowing himself to be adjusted in the other’s lap. Remus’ fingers cart through his hair and the deep rumbling of laughter in his chest allows Patton to relax just a fraction, some of the tension melting from his shoulders. “You’re such a dork,” he mumbles, voice hoarse, “you know that, right?”

“Are you calling my dick huge?”

Patton shakes his head, rolling his eyes. The familiar sensation of something slimy wraps around his arm, and when he looks, he finds one of the other’s tentacles looped around his elbow, suction cups clinging to his skin. It’s comforting, in a weird, Remus-specific kind of way.

“You know, if you want to talk about it, we can,” Remus says, tone so soft it shakes Patton from his thoughts. “I’m not gonna judge. Fuck, I can even get that therapist guy Logically-Pent-Up keeps raving about if it’ll make you comfortable. What’s his name, Dickini?”

“You know what his name is,” Patton says gently, though his voice comes out light, distant. His gaze wanders back to the ceiling, where nothing but blank white plaster stares back at him. A lump forms in his throat.

_Your fault. Your fault._

“Are you sure? It might help.”

_It’s your fault I’m dead._

Patton clears his throat to cover up the fresh wave of tears welling up, pulling away with a watery smile. He takes Remus’ hands in his own, trying his best not to look at the green, tattered sash wrapped around his torso.

_I’ll never forgive you._

“I have a better idea, Mouse. Why don’t you tell me a story?”


End file.
